Exvangelicals & Christian Nationalism
If you grew up in fundamental christianity and have since left it, the last several weeks may have felt especially distressing.
You worked so hard to deconstruct, to reclaim your identity, and yet here you are, being constantly confronted with those old, harmful narratives…only this time, instead of at church or in your home, it’s on every news outlet.
You no longer are controlled by rigid and toxic rules…and now, the laws of the land eerily mirror all of the bullshit you grew up with and got away from.
The political nightmare that is the current president (and everyone working with him) is deeply challenging for so many people right now.
And especially for people who know these ideologies so well, in a way that is unique and painful, feeling bombarded by these messages, being told that these are now laws not just in the church but for everyone, can feel retraumatizing.
If you feel activated by what’s happening, know that you’re not alone.
Deconstruction can be a really rewarding and also pretty challenging process, and the political landscape might be making that journey feel tougher than usual.
If you’re having a hard time managing it, or you want to understand your reactions to it, therapy can be a great place to explore that—and as a therapist who gets it at a deep, formative level, I’d love to help support you.
And also, therapy is only one tool of many! Here are a few others that might work for you:
Take a peek at how much media is being consumed, and get super honest with yourself: Is this helping, hurting, or somewhere in between? “I want to be informed but I’m feeling overwhelmed/defeated/hopeless” is one of the most common things I hear from clients of all backgrounds. I get it, I really do. And, there’s very little we can do for ourselves or the Collective if we’re feeling flooded or fatigued all the time. So remember that it’s ok to take breaks. To not read every news story, to not immediately know about every executive order. Build trust in yourself that you can access information in ways that help you not only stay informed, but can be in it for the long haul.
Find your people. All of this can feel incredibly isolating, and connection is a way to not only feel less alone, but to remember that creating a less harmful and more hopeful world isn’t only up to you—it’s a group effort, and we’re built to rely on each other.
Engage in self-soothing and pleasure practices. Especially if you come from fundamental christianity, seeing all of those old messages in the spotlight can be triggering. Let yourself go back to the basics: what helps you feel grounded, joyful, playful? There is such value in these things, and even though capitalism likes to lie and tell us they don’t matter, they absolutely fucking do.
Check in with your body. High-control religion depends on us being cut off from our bodies…and so do white supremacy, capitalism, colonialism, and so many more of the bullshit systems in our world. So it may require some extra intentionality to be really engaged with the body…the sensations they’re feeling, where they’re feeling it, how it is to be with those sensations and to not jump ship and head back to a cognitive-only world. Not only is this so supportive to our healing, but it’s also a revolutionary act. Thinking from the neck down allows us to connect with so much more.
Check in with how binary thinking shows up. While this has a stronghold on all of us, it can be especially easy for those of us who grew up in fundamental religion to still buy into black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking. Sometimes we can go from binary religious thinking to binary non-religious thinking, not realizing that they’re the same harmful paradigms, they’re just being used differently. As we deconstruct from harmful religious messages, I’ve found it helpful to also deconstruct from what made those messages so believable—what was underneath. So, taking note when ideas like “some people are all bad” or “there’s only one right way” pop up. Remember that it’s ok—our brains love simple binaries, and religion made our buy-in high. Allow yourself to soften, to see nuance and complexity. Perfection doesn’t exist.
I’d love to support you on your journey, and I know right now is an especially difficult time for so many of us. You are not alone. If therapy might be something you’re interested in, reach out and let’s get a free consultation scheduled!